i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I think I am morally bankrupt
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize