I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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