That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
