So drunk its hurt
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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