Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize