You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize