i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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