this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Reggie can tackle my bush.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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