Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
