i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
