And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
this is an emotional support booty call
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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