ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
