there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
