There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
