I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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