The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
