That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
you made out with another girl for some wings
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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