I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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