Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
40s are totally the cure
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
