Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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