let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
