Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Holy sore nipples Batman
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
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