i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Found your dick twin last night
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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