Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
