Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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