love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
