Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
