i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
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