I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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