Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
