walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
