Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
