He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
My vagina is very pro this idea
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
