whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
