What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
