bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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