I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
