I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
