sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
