i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
