Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So apparently I’m into choking now
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
