i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
