the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
