so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
