idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he thought i was a dude.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
