So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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