is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
