Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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