how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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