Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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