No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
