I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
