Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.

(850): View more from Florida

This has already gotten way out of hand

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(602): View more from Arizona

I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.

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